How Does it Feel……Is it the Best You’ve Ever Had….

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July 4, 2012 by Dropped Ink

So lets talk about sex. Sex is a huge part of our culture and every doctor known to man has some analysis on the subject. Cosmopolitan is the women’s bible for how to continually improve it. Let me dare not forget to mention our newest sex craze darling E.L. James, the author of the Fifty Shades series. I took some time and got all my girlfriends together and we disguised ourselves as a book group……(whisper) and read the book.  If you have noticed anything in the news then you know this book has apparently freed people’s sexual inhibitions and changed lives…..really! This is not a bash on James’s work but I do have to wonder, when did we all become prudes? My personal thoughts on the book are irrelevant because that is not what this post is about. This post is about sex and why writing a sex scene is much harder than you might think.

Our characters are in some way a reflection of us. So writing a sex scene is verbalizing what we wish for, imagine, or want. Some people, as grow as we all are or proclaim to be still have a problem talking about “the do”, horizontal mambo, nasty monkey dance, vanilla, knockin the boots, hittin that, till the cops come knockin……you all get it. Hollywood does not help with this dilemma either. They portray these beautiful fit people, in these well decorated spaces, overcoming insurmountable odds, with deep longing for one another making sweet passionate Hollywood love.

Now perhaps I am stealing credit from the couples that are very engaging and take their time. My point is the sex scene does not need to be over complicated or under fed to have an impact. On that screen or paper open yourself up to what could be an exciting possibility if it were real. Don’t be afraid to write what you want. Romance writing is the number one selling genre because it plays into the fantasies of women. At this point you are probably lamenting how you are rooted in reality and you can’t write things that are not true. Okay.  Lets scout for examples:

(adult content)

Now the Matrix is a highly stylized movie with more visual feast than most movies.

I chose this because it is one of my favorite movies and I think it shows simplicity and how people interact with each other on a real level.

The task at hand:

Organize your thoughts of reality. Organize your thoughts of fantasy. Organize your thoughts on who your characters are.  Take the time to flesh out your characters  in order to design how they may behave in intimate social settings.  Use music to get in the mood. Mood is a factor in writing especially when writing content about “the mood”. I don’t suggest anything to fast paced unless of course that floats your boat but find things that are sensual, make you feel sexy (or masculine), makes you think those thoughts.


Do you get the point…..

When you hit points that you feel uncomfortable don’t stop…..power through. Put it away come back to it. Let go of what you think you and do a little reading about what you may want to know. May I suggest Kate Chopin, The Storm. She has a rhythm and pace that set the story up for the climax that comes. It offers up a little more than just love making but a sexual awareness.

May I also suggest Anne Rice writing as A.N. Roqueloure, Claiming of Sleeping Beauty  if you blushed at Fifty Shades of Gray, then this will burn your cheeks… extinguisher.

Think about the best you ever had….or would like…


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